


Just One More Time

by SpokenOutcast



Category: Bellamione - Fandom, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Parents, Child Abuse, Discord: Bellamione Coven, Drug Abuse, Drug Dealing, F/F, Trauma, crispy bella, sorry lex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:07:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23814334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpokenOutcast/pseuds/SpokenOutcast
Summary: Hermione is born many years earlier, around the same time as Bellatrix Black. This results in them going to Hogwarts at the same time. Which results in Hermione seeing what makes Bellatrix fall apart. An excerpt from the future: "We were friends, once." She recalls, "We could have been more, and maybe we were. But she...changed. She lived through things I just couldn't fathom at the time. I want to fix that. I want to help her."
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Bellatrix Black Lestrange, Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Black Malfoy, Pandora Lovegood/Xenophilius Lovegood
Comments: 4
Kudos: 67





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Buckle up. This prologue is all fun and games but within the next few chapters it will get dark, it will get serious, I do not want anyone sensitive to any of the above tags to read this if it may trigger them. This stories will have ups, but many downs as a reflection of life. It will handle certain topics to the best of its abilities. Keep track of the tags whenever I update a chapter, I'll try to remember to toss notes at the beginning if I add a tag as a warning. 
> 
> For those of you still willing to read this: enjoy.

**Prologue**

“Can anybody tell me what the difference is between defense and assault?” The professor stood behind his desk expectantly. The class looked on, mostly bored. Except for two students in particular, the two who willingly sat in front of the class and the only two who actually wanted to pay attention to their Defense Against The Dark Arts professor. Their reasons may have been different, but watching them was akin to seeing two sides of the same coin. Coincidentally connected but never able to land face up at the same time.

They raised their hands.

“Bellatrix,” he called on his student. Hermione's hand shot down with a huff. There was something of a twinkle in his eye at that.

“To defend yourself is to try and ward off attackers, while assaulting someone is, well, attacking them.” The professor turned around in a flourish and picked up a piece of chalk to begin writing.

“Very good my dear,” he said as he scribbled something onto the board. Bellatrix shot Hermione a glare and a smirk. The Ravenclaw rolled her eyes in response. As if the professor had eyes on the back of his head (and it was entirely possible he did), he chuckled. Their antics were his highlight of the day. They always went at each other's throats but still left the class side by side before parting in the hallways. He wasn't a fool, they could do great things together. They had intelligent minds and they could surely do _great_ things together. He hoped they would find a way to see past their differences and work together. Maybe in life as coworkers...or maybe in a project. The idea struck him like a lightning bolt.

“Class, change of plans” he announced, “we're going to start a project! And I'm going to pick the teams.” Bellatrix quirked a brow and Hermione squinted while the other students around them groaned. Some of his class had even elected to put their heads down. “Oh, relax kids. The project is simple! All you have to do is come up with a defensive spell and an offensive spell to use against each other and show the class. I'm sure most of you will use the same or similar spells, but this is Defense Against The Dark Arts, I will be critiquing your stances and spell casting.” Some of the students lit up at the chance to _finally_ use magic in their class. Up until this project they hadn't had much opportunity to do so, except when the professor called on them and asked them to help with an example of his. Even then it was never anything too extreme. Something about Hogwarts' policy or some such.

“Professor,” Pandora spoke up, “when is this due? And if it isn't due today why not? It sounds simple.”

“Pandora, ever the perceptive one. It will be due in two weeks time, of courses we will work on other things in class, but I won't be assigning homework. I want you all to perfect these spells so you will be as safe as possible when displaying them. Of course this means practicing with each other after school. Do you all remember your spell practice guides?” Someone in the class groaned again, but Hermione nodded which reassured him some. “If not I suggest you reference them. The most important thing is that you practice on _dummies_ before you practice on each other. Easy enough, no?” Hermione raised her hand. He nodded at her.

“So...who are our partners?” He grinned evilly, as if she fell right into his trap. She swallowed, afraid of what his answer would be.

“Why, simply the people next to you. That means you'll be with Bellatrix.” The class seemed okay with this, they'd all been able to choose their seats...except for them. They were moved around some time ago, before they had someone else between them but because they would not stop talking to Bella, he'd rearranged the front row. Bellatrix looked at her project partner as if she were dung on a stick, absolutely _disgusted._

“Oh, what's wrong? Cat got your tongue?” Hermione chided. Bellatrix sneered.

“More like some damn crow's foot.” She turned her gaze back to the professor. “You can't be serious.”

“Oh, but I am miss. You two are going to be lab partners. Trust me when I say it's a good idea.”

“As good idea as sticking a rat in a donkey's--”

“Now, now Miss Black. None of that.” She huffed. The bell rang before she could pipe up again. The girls grabbed their things and walked out into the hall together, leaving the professor quite satisfied with his work. Once in a millennia did you get two students so intelligent, and he would be damned if he didn't capitalize on his chance to teach what would be the two greatest witches of their generation.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of blood in this chapter, like, actual blood

“Well?” She asked, keeping pace with the girl in black beside her.

“Well what, muddy? There is no well, I'll take the zero.” Hermione's jaw dropped and she stopped walking to look directly at Bellatrix. The Slytherin carried on, paying no mind to her classmate's offense.

Well that simply wouldn't do. Hermione rushed to catch up to her, and she did, and then proceeded to say,

“Bold words from an inbred.” Now Bellatrix stopped and turned to look at her. Her jaw hadn't dropped but her eyebrows certainly had.

“What did you just call me, muddy?”

“An inbred. And you are. That's factual if you look at pureblood lineage.” Bellatrix scoffed at that.

“If I had a few more screws loose I would probably kill you for saying that.” She turned to continue walking but looked back at the Ravenclaw. “I suppose I should be thankful I'm not partnered up with a bloody Gryffindor.” Hermione watched as the Slytherin's eyes looked down and then back up. She wasn't entirely sure why she felt insecure but she supposed it could be attributed to Bellatrix's thorough and quick observation skills. “Alright, I'll do the project with you muddy.” Hermione rolled her eyes. Anger. She felt anger now.

“No.”

“What? What are you on about _now_?” She shook her head and began walking in the opposite direction. She wasn't about to let some snob walk all over her. “We do have the next class together, where exactly do you think you're going?” Hermione simply kept walking, annoyed that Bellatrix had even noticed they had their next class together. How dare Bellatrix be so crude? Sure she was muggleborn, but her grades were just as good as the pureblood's. It wasn't fair that she should be allowed to use such a derogatory word when addressing her. If she couldn't figure out _why_ that word was wrong, Hermione supposed she didn't want anything to do with her. She'd figure out a way to at least get partial credit for the project. After all, a 50 was still leagues better than a zero.

Bellatrix stopped talking, and Hermione didn't bother to look back and see if she'd continued walking to their next class. There was no point, really. The pureblood was too ignorant for her own good. It wasn't Hermione's job to make her see the error of her ways and she wasn't about to waste her precious time fixing a bigot. She pushed open the bathroom door and dropped her somewhere against the wall before pausing in front of the mirror.

She was a muggleborn witch but she looked just the same as all the other witches and wizards. There was no way to tell, even if you put a knife into her arm her blood was just as rich and red as the rest of theirs, so why did they have to be so cruel? She saw how pathetic she looked with her bleary eyes and frown. She splashed some water on her face and felt the heat of embarrassment on her palms. She looked back up and saw someone standing behind her. She jumped.

“What the bloody hell are you doing sneaking up on people?” She gasped. Bellatrix frowned but she couldn't tell if the woman was making fun of her or being genuine.

“You walked away from me.”

“So?”

“That was awfully rude,” she said with an awfully high lilt.

“You saying that word over and over was rude, as if I haven't heard it enough from everyone else.” To her credit, Bellatrix actually seemed taken aback.

“What are you on about?”

“I'm a _muggleborn,_ not some filthy mudblood like you keep saying. My blood isn't brown. My magic is just as pure.”

“Of course your blood isn't brown, you're a person.” Hermione threw her hands up. This girl had completely missed the point she was trying to make.

“Then what the hell are you always using that slur for?”

“Well...” she paused to think. “That's just what the purebloods call your kind, I suppose.”

“Do you even _hear_ yourself?” Her voice was hoarse. Bellatrix's head tilted.

“Yes, I think I do. I just don't understand why you're so upset.”

“You're daft then, aren't you?” Her face twisted. It dawned on Hermione that Bellatrix hadn't had much experience with muggleborns, she'd only really talked to purebloods. “How many muggleborns do you know?” She asked. Bellatrix shrugged.

“I don't really talk to them. My parents usually forbid it, but since we're stuck doing this project together I suppose mother and father will just have to deal under such... circumstances. It isn't like I can't just...stop talking to you after all's said and done.”

“So, what? You get exposed to a new way of thinking and then you can go back to your old ways as if you didn't learn a damn thing? What's the point? “ She huffed. “Carry on with your old ways, I'm not going to help you be a better person.” Bellatrix hoisted herself up onto the sink counter and let her feet dangle.

“I'm no pretender, Granger. I never said I was a good person.” She looked ahead as if in a daze. She was somewhere else now.

“And why not? Why wouldn't you want to be a good person?” She shrugged and looked down. Silence sat between them as if it were a person trying to mediate for them. Silence gave way to confusion. Hermione's brows furrowed and she paced around a few times, hands on her hips. Bellatrix continued to be silent. Hermione lifted a hand and gestured towards the sitting girl. “You're afraid.” Bella looked up and Hermione's heart skipped a beat. The girl's eyes were bloodshot...bleary. She hopped off the counter with a scoff.

“The people who have something to fear are worthless, Granger. I'll see you in class. Have fun with your pity party in the bloody bathrooms,” she spat. The raven haired girl stormed out of the bathroom and was sure to slam the door behind her, which was an achievement because the door didn't even have a latch.

The Ravenclaw wasn't sure what she'd just witnessed, but it was something that made her feel...sad. There was something going on with that girl and she had an urge to help. But how? Bellatrix would never open up to her, at the first sign of Hermione reading her emotions she stormed off. She wasn't going to open up so...she figured she should leave the girl alone. Let her come and ask for help herself if she so chose, but it wasn't any of Hermione's business what the Slytherin was dealing with.

Still, even as she grabbed her own bag and walked out of the bathroom, the thoughts of the girl slithered around in the back of her mind. She chewed her lower lip as she walked to her next class, wondering what Bellatrix would be up to when she got there. She wasn't about to forgive her, no, of course not! She was rather atrocious for using that word and Hermione hoped their conversation would at _least_ make her think before using it again.

She recalled how she left the bathroom saying her last name. It wasn't perfect, using her last name still felt...disconnected in a way. Professional. But it was certainly better than the alternative. A wave of warmth washed over her. Why was she thinking so hard about some bully? She thanked her legs for their autopilot feature as she crossed the threshold of her destination. She was on the other side of the room from Bellatrix in this class, so she supposed she wouldn't get to talking to her any time soon, but the girl seemed fine. As if that whole conversation hadn't happened.

As if she hadn't just been on the brink of tears. _What are you so afraid of, Bellatrix?_ She wondered.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of Bellatrix this time *shrug*

_Damn her,_ Bellatrix thought, _who does she think she is? She doesn't know me or my life let alone my god damn feelings._ She stormed into the classroom, threw her bag beside her desk and sat on her seat. Someone shot her a glance which she quickly answered with a glare. They went back to doing whatever they had been before. She sighed and sat up straight.

A lady shouldn't let her emotions get the best of her. She should be prim and proper. That was the best way to get revenge with these things. Simply appear as if you didn't care. Yes, that's what she would do. She paid no mind to anyone walking into the class and even began talking to one of the Slytherin girls that regularly sat next to her. What was her name? She couldn't even remember, but the whole point was appearance.

She practically _felt_ that Granger girl walk in, but didn't look in her direction. She heard the girl sit down and looked forward and leaned back in her chair. The class was about to begin, after all. She saw the other girls auburn eyes on her before she looked over and glared. Hermione's brows furrowed and she frowned as she looked back at the textbook in front of her.

The class was mostly uneventful. They took notes until the bell rang and their teacher scoffed at the lack of ample time given to each class before dismissing them. Bellatrix walked out and headed towards the Slytherin commons. She tread deeper and deeper into the dungeon and with each step she became more and more lost in her thoughts.

 _“You're afraid,”_ her mind recalled the girl's words. _Afraid my arse._ She thought. Still, her mind wandered back to her home. Her parents. Her grandmother, even. She recalled how her mother told them all that they must do well in school. Any parent wanted their kids to do well, what was so wrong with that? She recalled how Druella had said if their grades began slipping, even just by a few points or so, she'd know about it and they'd have to...make adjustments.

Bella was more of a physical learner at the start, not a bookworm. That had been changed, of course. She lost _everything_ but a few books. Her room was stripped bare when her grades began slipping and she was locked in her bedroom for what must have been weeks. She had her wand, of course, but she never used it to escape. She feared what Cygnus might do if she misbehaved further. House elves brought her food under Druella's orders. She was left alone with her thoughts and her teachings and all she could do was sit on her floor and read and write. She wasn't even allowed into the bathroom to relieve herself instead, she would have to call a house elf and ask for a pot. She shuddered.

What they had reduced her to was nothing. They showed her just how much they could take away, she hadn't even been allowed a bath during the duration of that vacation. The evening before she left for school she was scrubbed raw, of course. They weren't allowed to be poorly presented in public. The Blacks had a reputation to uphold! She felt her throat constrict as if a hand were around it. She wanted to scream, she wanted to cry, but more than anything she wanted to stop. To pause for just a moment and finally be _her_ for herself instead of _her_ for her parents.

She approached her bed and flopped on top of it. Narcissa was on the bunk above her, and Andromeda next to them.

“You're late,” Narcissa cooed.

“Hardly,” Bella deadpanned. She lifted her head off of the pillow and turned onto her side. “There's no time limit for getting to your bedroom as long as you're around before curfew. We haven't even had dinner yet.”

“If you say so, I just mean you're usually here earlier.”

“I suppose she could've gotten sidetracked in the bathroom, Cissy. No need to be so nosy.” Bella scoffed and rolled over so she was looking at Andromeda.

“I was _not_ sidetracked by the bathroom.”

“No? What about that Granger girl? Are you starting to fancy the ladies, Bella? I didn't think you'd be the one to go all awry on us. Not after all those bloody lessons from Druella and Cygnus.” Bellatrix never blushed, so she had nothing to worry about, but if embarrassment were to show on her face it would have happened then.

“That mudblood is the least of my worries. She just got upset with me and I have to deal with her emotional arse to get an A on some project we have in Defense.”

“Is that so? I saw you storm out of that bathroom looking quite upset. What was that about?”

“None of your business.”

“You're cheerful this evening, hm?”

“Hop off Andy, go to dinner. I'm not hungry tonight. I'll grab a snack before bed.” Andromeda rolled her eyes and slid off of her bed.

“Come on Cissy, we might as well be off if she's not joining us.” Narcissa climbed off of her bunk and obediently wandered out into the dungeon with her sister.

Bella shut her eyes tight and ignored all of the people leaving the room. She did her best to convince herself that nobody had been listening in on their conversation. She knew she was lying to herself. She was surrounded by snakes at almost all times, after all.

“Blasted fools...” she cursed her siblings.

“Bellatrix,” a voice called out to her. She shot up in bed and looked over towards the doorway.

“Rodolphus what the bloody hell do you want? You shouldn't even be in here, this is the _girls'_ room.” Rodolphus shrugged and strolled in as if he owned the place like old money often did.

“I just wanted to stop by and check on you, something told me you'd had a hard day.”

“ _Something_ or someone? Either way, I don't need your pity. Get out of here.” His lips thinned and he clasped his hands in front of him.

“Might you accompany me to dinner anyway? It wouldn't be right of me to not ask, and it's not very right of you to not go.” She pulled her wand out of her sleeve and pointed it at the boy.

“I said _leave_ you bloody oaf!” He put his hands up, clearly picking his battles. He'd fold this time, but would he the next? It angered her even more that she could see the gears turning in his head, that he was thinking about how soon he could try something like this again.

“Very well, but you know you ought to get to know me before our parents make us marry.” Apparently _soon_ turned into _immediately._ Her brows furrowed at that. The _gull_ of this boy, acting as if she were already his bloody property! He was insane if he thought she would be so easy.

“I don't give a _shit_ what you think our parents are going to do, I will never bow to you, boy. It's offensive you think I'd ever consider marrying some _man_ that isn't even worth his salt. _”_

“How haughty you are! All I said was--”

“I don't give a rats arse what you said, it was what you implied. Now, out! Before I bombarda you into the nether realm.” Without another word, the boy wandered back out of the dorm and out of her hair. She flopped backward back onto her bed. Her mind wandered to a conversation she had some time ago with her parents.

“You are the eldest, and this is what you must do to preserve our bloodlines little one,” her father solemnly told her. “You should be proud! Your marriage will be the center of attention in pureblood politics, isn't that grand?” Bella looked down at her shoes. She'd just come home to tell them about the boy she met in the park but now they were telling her she couldn't talk to him anymore. “It's best to let that little boy go, you have a far superior suitor already!”

“But...he was charming and kind. Can't I just choose who to marry? I feel like that should be my right.”

“And who taught you to _feel_ little one? It is not a choice you have, and that's that. This is a tradition that has gone on for some time with pureblood families. We've raised you to respect tradition!”

“But you never told me I wouldn't be able to decide who I marry or not! This isn't fair.” _Slap._

“Don't raise your voice at me, young lady.” She stared at her father, shocked that he once again slapped her. It wasn't an uncommon thing, but for some reason, it always bothered her. She had hardly gotten over the first time let alone the second, third, fourth, or fifth times, and so on.

“Why did you hit me again?” She asked, her lower lip trembling. “You told me you'd stop.” Cygnus didn't look her in the eye, instead, he grabbed his jacket's lapels and pulled on them as he looked into the fire.

“You weren't listening, and when a child doesn't listen it is best to get your point across anyway possible. Now, no more of this boy. Leave us.” Bella shuffled out of her father's study, leaving her mother alone with that beast of a man. She'd stood in the corner the entire time. Later that night, Druella would talk to her and ask that she behave for both of their sakes.

“You know he's unreasonable,” Bellatrix murmured. “We could get away from him, it would be easy! We could pack our bags and--” Druella put a finger on her lips and shook her head.

“It's not that simple at all, poppet. It's better to do as he asks. All you have to do is marry this boy and then...you can both have other partners. It will be a loveless marriage, but a powerful one. All the purebloods care about is appearance, you know.” Bellatrix would have laughed if the situation wasn't so terrible to her personally.

“I don't want to be wed off to some boy! I want to decide who I marry myself, I don't think anyone should decide such a thing for me.” Druella sighed. Bellatrix's bedroom door creaked open.

“Are you two conspiring?” His voice was gruff, he'd been drinking.

“What?” Druella stood and gave a chuckle. “Never against you, love.” He huffed at that.

“Time for bed, Bellatrix.” He blew out the candle by her door and held an arm out for Druella. “Come now dear, we have things to discuss and get up to.” Druella nodded and went as beckoned, but Bella knew she didn't want to. Perhaps her mother was just as awful as her father at times, perhaps she too would take to drinking on the weekends and be rather...cruel towards her and her sisters, but her mother was a victim too. Her heart ached as the door closed in front of her parents. She curled up and cried into her pillow, things didn't seem right in the place she called home, and she doubted it soon would.

And she was right. Things didn't seem to get better in the least.

“Bella,” she heard someone call out to her. She thought she imagined it at first, but then they called out again, “Bellatrix.” She sat up and looked toward the source of the noise. Her youngest sister was standing at the end of her bed with a tray in hand.

“What's this?” She rasped.

“I thought you should have some dinner, so I brought you some. Don't be mad and don't try and be sassy. You know what mother and father think about sass.” Bellatrix rolled her eyes at that.

“Narcissa, you should be with Andromeda.” Narcissa shrugged at that. “Very well then, get up here.” Her sister obliged and ended up sitting beside her. They set with the tray flat between both of their laps.

“Bella...” she trailed off as Bella prepared her tea.

“Yes?”

“I may have...heard some of what happened earlier. With Rodolphus.” She rolled her eyes.

“And what of it? You know how I feel about the betrothal.”

“Do you think mother and father ever loved each other? I mean...I'm fine with Lucius, but we've known each other for quite a while. I'm not sure they had that opportunity.”

“With how supportive they are of having a loveless marriage, I doubt they have much love between them, Cissy.” The younger witch nodded and didn't say anything else. Bellatrix found the silence...somewhat uncomfortable.

“What's wrong with you?” She broke the silence after taking a sip of her tea.

“I just...don't think I want to marry without love, either. I think you might be right...it's not right.” Bella felt two things then, one was pride and the other was fear. Narcissa had to do her best to listen to their parents. Between Bella and Andy, she'd received little to no punishments from their parents and Bella intended to keep it that way. She might have done more for Andy too, if Andy had been more than a year younger than Bella. She couldn't protect that sister as much as she wanted, but she was certain she could protect this one.

“Narcissa, listen to me,” her voice was low, Narcissa's eyes looked towards her worriedly, “do not oppose our parents. It's better for everyone if you listen to them. You're used to Lucius, your marriage likely won't be loveless. There's no reason to believe you will be unhappy as a Malfoy.” Narcissa's mouth frowned at that and she looked away.

“But I want to get married because _I_ want to, not because I've been ordered to.”

“I understand, Cissy, but it's so much easier to go with what they say. Don't be like me. Don't even be like Andy, she's a rebel too, bless her heart. That's not the life we wanted for you.” The younger witch crossed her arms.

“I know what you two have done for me,” she began, and Bella thought that she didn't know the half of it but let her sister continue anyway, “and I'm...thankful. But maybe it's...maybe it should be my turn.”

“It should never be your turn, don't think like that, don't ever even _think_ that. We wouldn't protect you if we couldn't handle it.”

“I hope to be half as strong as you and Andromeda someday, Bella,” Narcissa mumbled.

“You are as strong as us. You were cut from the same vine as us.” She shook her head but once again the conversation died into a lull. They didn't express their feelings often, and in truth it was still strange to Bellatrix how in tune her sisters were with their emotions. How could they still feel things so much? How could they understand what they were feeling so well? All Bellatrix really understood was the loyalty she felt towards her sisters. They were the only people she wanted to fight for. Her parents had done her wrong far too many times over the years for her to feel any ounce of sympathy towards them. Her father could fall on a sword and she wouldn't bat an eye.

Before long the Slytherin students began shuffling back into their rooms and Narcissa left Bella's bed to get ready for the rest of the night. Bella's mind wandered as the world turned around her. Her sleeping hours were plagued by memories of her parents, and that blasted Granger even managed to make an appearance. She was at the pub with the Gryffindor and...having a strangely great time. They were laughing, talking, getting to know one another. That dream faded to black and she saw her father's disapproving face once more, belt in hand.

Bella woke drenched in sweat, shivering.


End file.
